As we journey through life, we encounter various milestones that bring lessons and shape our perspectives. These lessons and encounters mold us into the individuals that we become. Whether these journeys turn out to be a blessing or a regret depends on how we interpret these experiences. The people we meet along the way are the essence of these encounters and play a significant role in shaping our understanding of life.
We come across many individuals throughout our lives, and each interaction leaves a unique impression on us. Some of these experiences may be positive, while others may be negative. Over time, our perception of the world changes and so does our vision of looking at things from rose-tinted glasses.
In my opinion, the most important change that comes with age is the ability to not give a f****. We exhaust ourselves trying to fit in and accommodate the needs of others while devaluing ourselves. I have reached a point where I have come to realize the importance of valuing myself and my time. I am greedy and mindful about how I invest my time in others because my time is precious. I have stopped being affected by people who don’t add any value to my life and are inconsiderate about my time and effort. I have realized that trying to please everyone is an impossible task. In doing so, you lose a part of yourself by trying to be someone else just so you can be accepted. This creates a superficial relationship because people only perceive you from the outside. Your relationships with people should be more profound, ones that have the potential to last a lifetime.
It is crucial to prioritize people who are ready to love and appreciate you for who you are without judgment or criticism. Let go of those unwilling to accept you with all your imperfections, beliefs, and ideologies. Although it may be difficult, letting go of such people is the most important thing you can do for your well-being.
Humans have an inherent desire to be liked. They strive to maintain good relations with everyone and resolve conflicts as soon as possible. However, asking yourself whether the person or group adds value to your life is essential. There’s no point in having difficult conversations with people who don’t love you and don’t put any effort into your relationship. Stop showing up for those who are not interested in your presence. Stand up and walk away if you’re not needed at the table. Although it’s natural to want to gain the appreciation of those around you, it’s an instinct that can steal your time, energy, mental and physical health.
When did you last have an honest, deep conversation with anyone? If you think you have, then think again. What value did that add to your life?
The truth is that not everyone is meant to be in your life, and you are not meant to be in everyone’s life. That’s why holding on to people with whom your thoughts align and connect is important. You’ll appreciate them even more because you know what it’s like not having that connection. Keep them close and support them fiercely with all your might.
As you let go, you will realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to protect your energy above anything else. Create a safe and secure environment for yourself, where you only allow people who are compatible with you, genuinely care for you, and won’t judge you for any reason.
You deserve nothing but the best—true friendships, unwavering commitments, and a healthy and prosperous love. Choosing to distance yourself from toxic people will grant you the love, respect, happiness, and safety that you deserve.
One effective way of distancing yourself from toxic individuals is by learning the art of being unfazed. You cannot control others’ attitude towards you, but you can control your reaction to their attitude. Practice being in your own space and not reacting to everything that comes your way. Like how Viktor E. Frankl said,
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Remember that what makes sense to you may not make sense to others. Every conversation you have does not have to be an argument or a debate. That art of being unfazed means that you are choosing yourself, choosing to let go. It’s not your responsibility to rescue or persuade others. You are not obligated to exist solely for the benefit of others and sacrifice your well-being. It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and not feel guilty about it. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself is crucial for your happiness and fulfillment.
If we think about it, our life’s journey begins from the moment we are conceived. Our upbringing plays a crucial role in shaping the individual we become and how we perceive the world. As we grow up, our parents impart a wealth of knowledge and experience they have gained throughout their lives. Some of these lessons may be easily understood, while others may only become apparent later in life when we make our own choices—sometimes with success, sometimes with failure. Throughout our experiences, we continue to learn and develop, gaining valuable life lessons along the way.
As I reflect on the lessons my parents have taught me, I can’t help but think about my journey with my father and the admirable qualities and principles he has instilled in me. One of the most notable traits that have influenced me is his reliability and commitment. Even for a simple catch-up over coffee, he always ensures that he arrives on time. He values his word and never backs out of a promise or commitment, no matter how small or big it may be. He understands the importance of time and respects the time and efforts of others. He never takes anyone for granted, especially those who need his help, support, or guidance. At the same time, he also understood where to draw the line and valued himself and his priorities. He aced the art of not giving a f***. That’s why he is where he is today—a loving husband, a doting father, a caring grandfather, a successful retired civil servant, and a proactive social entrepreneur well-respected in the community. This is the kind of person I aspire to become: someone who adds value to the lives of others but also knows how to value himself.